We just spent the last two days in Las Vegas with the National Sober Living Association. The conference was held at the Tuscany Hotel. We went there to listen and to learn. We left with a full notebook and a lot of gratitude.
Nick is on the left. Jack is on the right. We are both cofounders, and this was our first NSLA conference.
If you run a sober living home and you do not know the NSLA yet, please take a few minutes to look at their work. You can meet their board, see their member homes, and learn how to become a member on their site.
A simple thank you
Thank you first to Gayle Stahl. Gayle was a pillar for us. She helped us get started and she made us feel welcome from the start. Thank you also to Jeremy Shane South, Litra Simms, Richard Todd, and Terri Todd. Thank you to the rest of the board and to everyone who helped plan the two days.
A conference like this takes a lot of work. People have to book the space. They have to plan the talks. They have to answer a lot of small questions so the rest of us can just show up and learn. That work is easy to miss. We did not miss it. We are grateful for it.
We also want to say thank you for letting us listen. We are new faces in this work. No one had to take time for us. People did anyway. They sat down with us. They answered our questions. They told us the truth about what this work is really like.
What the NSLA does
The National Sober Living Association helps sober living operators do this work well. They share best practices. They give operators clear guidelines to follow. They help set a standard for what a safe and well run home should look like.
That matters because the people who walk into these homes need a safe place. They need a sober place to live while they work on their health and their life. A good home can be the place where a person finds steady ground again.
One idea stayed with us all week. The NSLA asks a simple question. Would you live here. It is a short question, but it says a lot. If the answer is no, then the home needs work. If the answer is yes, then a person in recovery has a real chance to rest, heal, and move forward.
Not just residents. Family.
We heard this more than once in Las Vegas. The people who live in these homes are not just residents. They are part of a family.
That word matters. A family looks out for each other. A family eats together and talks through hard days. A family holds each other to a standard, and a family does it with care. In a good sober home, everyone is working toward the same goal. Each person wants a better life, and each person helps the next person get there too.
The stories we heard
We heard success stories from Gayle and others who are part of the Hope House family in Huron, South Dakota. Gayle was so kind to us. She took time to talk with us one on one. She told us about the real problems she faces in the daily work of running a home. She did not sugar coat any of it. That kind of honesty helps more than she knows, and we will carry her words with us.
We heard Jeremy share from his own life and his own recovery. It takes courage to stand in front of a room and tell the truth about your past. He did it so other people could learn from it. That kind of talk reminds you why this work matters. It is about real people and real lives.
We heard Terri explain how to find funding that is out there for this work. A lot of operators do good work with very little money. Terri showed that help does exist. You just have to know where to look and who to ask. That talk alone will help a lot of homes keep their doors open.
Her talk also got us thinking on the way home. It is hard for these houses to get the funding they need to stay open and to help more people. Good work should not have to stop because the money was hard to find.
So we want to help in a small way. We are building a funding feature in MyMeetings. It will watch for grants that match your house and alert you when a new one is posted. It will also help make the application simpler to fill out. We will share more when it is ready.
What Richard shared with us
We also want to say a word about Richard Todd. Richard is the president of the NSLA.
He shared what he has learned from years of running a house. He also talked about what it takes to watch over homes across a large region for the NSLA. That is a lot of homes, and a lot of people who count on him.
What stood out to us was how open he was. He talked about the hard parts and about the mistakes that come with this work. He shared what time has taught him so that other operators do not have to learn the same lessons the hard way.
That is a kind thing to do. It would be easy to keep that kind of knowledge to yourself. Richard shared it freely, and a room full of operators will be better for it.
What we learned
We learned a lot in two days. If we had to pick three lessons to take home, these are the three.
- A structured house is important. People who struggle with addiction and alcohol need structure. They need clear rules and a steady daily routine. They need to know what the day looks like and what is expected of them. A calm and ordered house gives a person room to heal.
- Hold your people accountable, and hold yourself to the same standard. Rules cannot only be for the people who live in the home. The people who run the home have to live by them too. Show up on time. Do what you said you would do. Own your mistakes. Trust grows when the standard is the same for everyone.
- Relationships are everything. Build real ties with the people in your home. Build ties with drug court, with treatment centers, with churches, and with other groups in your town. There are a lot of people who want to help. You just have to find them and take the time to build the relationship. And with the people who live in your home, trust matters most of all. Many of them have lived a long time without much trust in their life. Be a genuine person. Show up when you say you will. Do that again and again.
Shout outs
These are the homes led by the board members we want to thank. If you want to see what good sober living looks like, start here. Each link goes straight to their home or their work.
| Person | Home | Where |
|---|---|---|
| Gayle Stahl, Board Member and Conference Chair | Hope House | Huron, South Dakota |
| Jeremy Shane South, Board Member and Conference Co Chair | Legacy Landing Sober Living | Fulton, Mississippi |
| Litra Simms, Board Member | Second Chance Recovery House | Glen Burnie, Maryland |
| Richard Todd, President, and Terri Todd, Board Member | Gratitude in Action and Ignatia's House Sober Living | Billings, Montana |
You can also find all of them on the NSLA board page. Please give their pages a visit. Read their stories. If you can support their work, please do.
Why this work matters
The NSLA helps people get a second chance at life. They help people find their purpose again. That is not small work. That is life changing work.
We believe groups like the NSLA are a vital part of the answer to the substance use disorder epidemic in this country. Safe homes save lives. Good operators change lives. And none of that happens by luck. It happens because people like Gayle, Jeremy, Litra, Richard, and Terri show up, year after year, and do the work.
Thank you again to the whole NSLA team. Thank you for the two days in Las Vegas. Thank you for the talks, the stories, and the time you gave to two new people who are still learning. We learned so much from you. We will not forget it.
With gratitude,
Jack and Nick